Well, today was our first official day of homeschooling this year.
How did it go? Just OK. Logan did GREAT! I was discouraged. It was SO much bookwork! In fact, I can't believe he stuck with it for so long. He really pushed through and did fabulous. But its just too much. Last year I fought with myself about teaching methods. I'm a trained teacher. I was trained to test, meet standards, and document. And though I hated all of that while credentialing, its really all I know. No, I don't test Logan, but I do worry about him being up to standards and documented.
The standards thing makes no sense to me. I tell myself if we learn about the states because he's interested in them NOW, instead of waiting till 5th grade when its normally covered (I think), who cares. He learned it. But I still struggle with wanting him "at level." I dont' know why. Maybe because I'm afraid if people question where he is, they will compare him to the standards and only see where he's behind, and not see where he's ahead. I'm so afraid of someone...who, I don't know...judging his capability because he's homeschooled.
But the documentation, that's where I really falter. I'd LOVE to completely do unschooling. But I fear how that will look on paper when he wants to go to college. And even if I waste a ton of time researching laws, etc, it really doesn't matter. The laws will change MULTIPLE times before he is ready to graduate High School.
Why do I fight myself? Why can't I just throw it all to the wind and FULLY embrace unschooling?
In my head I think, "I don't even know HOW to unschool! If someone could just show me." Really, that's ridiculous because I believe unschooling is what YOU make of it. Its you. Your rhythm, your motivation, your speed, your desires. Is it something you model after another unschooling family? My mind says of course not, because that would be taking another family's "curriculum" (for lack of better words) and making it our own. But then again, some guidance in the unschooling direction would be nice. I'm just so fearful of making the wrong decision and it affecting my child's future opportunities. But oh, his nose in workbooks all day is NOT what I envisioned when I dreamed of homeschooling one day.
NOT. AT. ALL!
Any suggestions out there?
Sorry for the vent. I know it sounds confusing, but I decided to not edit it. It gives you a look into my confused brain.
On a happier note, there's my 1st grader and his little sis using their bright minds to make a cool toy even better. Adding the slide to the trough....brilliant.