Well, today was our first official day of homeschooling this year.
How did it go? Just OK. Logan did GREAT! I was discouraged. It was SO much bookwork! In fact, I can't believe he stuck with it for so long. He really pushed through and did fabulous. But its just too much. Last year I fought with myself about teaching methods. I'm a trained teacher. I was trained to test, meet standards, and document. And though I hated all of that while credentialing, its really all I know. No, I don't test Logan, but I do worry about him being up to standards and documented.
Why?
The standards thing makes no sense to me. I tell myself if we learn about the states because he's interested in them NOW, instead of waiting till 5th grade when its normally covered (I think), who cares. He learned it. But I still struggle with wanting him "at level." I dont' know why. Maybe because I'm afraid if people question where he is, they will compare him to the standards and only see where he's behind, and not see where he's ahead. I'm so afraid of someone...who, I don't know...judging his capability because he's homeschooled.
But the documentation, that's where I really falter. I'd LOVE to completely do unschooling. But I fear how that will look on paper when he wants to go to college. And even if I waste a ton of time researching laws, etc, it really doesn't matter. The laws will change MULTIPLE times before he is ready to graduate High School.
Why do I fight myself? Why can't I just throw it all to the wind and FULLY embrace unschooling?
In my head I think, "I don't even know HOW to unschool! If someone could just show me." Really, that's ridiculous because I believe unschooling is what YOU make of it. Its you. Your rhythm, your motivation, your speed, your desires. Is it something you model after another unschooling family? My mind says of course not, because that would be taking another family's "curriculum" (for lack of better words) and making it our own. But then again, some guidance in the unschooling direction would be nice. I'm just so fearful of making the wrong decision and it affecting my child's future opportunities. But oh, his nose in workbooks all day is NOT what I envisioned when I dreamed of homeschooling one day.
NOT. AT. ALL!
Any suggestions out there?
Sorry for the vent. I know it sounds confusing, but I decided to not edit it. It gives you a look into my confused brain.
On a happier note, there's my 1st grader and his little sis using their bright minds to make a cool toy even better. Adding the slide to the trough....brilliant.
because of the million different ways i saw unschooling defined, i thought no that's not us. but when i went to the GWS website and saw how John Holt defined it: "All John Holt meant to do with the word unschooling was to find a more expressive and expansive term than deschooling or homeschooling, both of which gave the impression of abolishing or creating miniature copies of conventional schooling in the home. Holt created the word unschooling to indicate that children can learn in significant ways that don't resemble school learning and that don't have to just take place at home. - I thought that is us! although we learn in that way i still document what we do. i'm going to start scrapbooking as well (probably not going to help with college admissions :-) you can read the rest here : http://www.holtgws.com/unschooling.html There is no way i'm going to let the kids completely guide themselves (which i think is how some people view unschooling) but that doesn't mean the learning is going to be artificial. we, as parents, need to find a way to help them learn as naturally as possible. if that makes sense. (i'm learning along with you here :-)
ReplyDeletei would say follow your gut. continue to wrestle with your thoughts about what is right for your family. if there are certain things that offer you more confidence when documented just do that documentation. your kids are going to thrive under your "instruction".
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