From My Archives

August 9, 2005




Logan,

You are the culmination of all my dreams. You have made me the person I’ve wanted to be since I was a child; a mother. On the day you were born, you opened my eyes to God’s grace and blessings He bestows on His people. The day you were born, a covering was lifted from my eyes, and for the first time, I could see just how great, how loving, how selfless, and how mighty God’s sacrifice to us is - His son. For as I held you in my arms, so new to the world, I understood how much God had to give up, not to mention to such brutality. I cry out to God on nights when I have fearful thoughts of outliving you, or of something horrible happening to you. I will protect you with every fiber that is in my body, partly out of love, and partly out of the shame of the knowledge that I....and you...all our blood...so brutally took the life of God’s perfect son, Jesus. I live with a buried fear of something bad happening to you. But God, He lived with the knowledge that something horrible would befall His perfect son’s life. Every day of His life, God looked down on Jesus, His only son, with that horrible knowledge - the knowledge His son would have to die for us, sinners. I did not understand the enormity of His sacrifice, the raw emotion of it, until I had you, my son. You have opened my eyes to the purest form of God’s love I’ve ever received. Out of fear and reverence to my Great Father Lord, I pray you will see His love so purely one day too. Be devoted to God, for as much as I love you, I could never come close to loving you as mightily, and selflessly as your Lord loves you. For I would never be able to sacrifice you, my son, for another - but the Lord your God already has sacrificed His son for you.

I love you,

Mommy



**** written 3 months after becoming a Mommy ****